Practical Discipleship - Chapter 3
Lordship: Following Christ
Jesus’ call to follow Him is a call to give Him authority over every area of our lives.
This chapter is designed for slow reading and reflection. Consider reading it in sections, either on your own or with one or two discipleship partners, allowing time for prayer and honest discussion.
Introduction
Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what he is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on: you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of — throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were going to be made into a decent little cottage: but He is building up a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself. - C. S. Lewis
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How does C. S. Lewis’ description of Christian discipleship connect with your own experience? Can you think of times when you wanted to become a little cottage, but God was transforming you into a palace?
Jesus is making each of us into a palace — a place where He intends to live. Repentance is part of that process. It is one way He begins to “stop the leaks in the roof and fix the drains”; it is a fixing of what is broken. But that is not the end of His work. God intends to do more. He intends to transform us into a place where He Himself can dwell. For this to happen, Jesus must be given control of the building plans.
In this chapter, we will consider the ultimate goal of discipleship: following Jesus as Lord. Repentance is an ongoing turning from the kingdoms of this world to Jesus, so that we might follow Him and allow Him to lead the way. Only when Jesus is Lord of our lives can He lead us into a deep relationship with Himself and into the new life of His kingdom. To use Lewis’ image, only when we allow Jesus to be Lord of our lives can He transform us into the beautiful palaces we were created to be, rather than the broken-down cottages we too often settle for. The goal of this chapter is to help you think personally and practically about Jesus’ lordship and leadership in your life.
Before we do that, it will be helpful to reflect on the most important roles and relationships in your life. Imagine that the wheel below represents your life, and that the different spokes of the wheel represent its different aspects. Complete the wheel by filling in the roles, activities, and relationships that are most significant to you and that help shape how you see yourself. You might begin by asking, “Who am I?” (For example: I am a family member. I am a friend. I am a boyfriend or girlfriend. I am a student. I am an employee. I play football.)
Lordship: Following Christ
A Troubling Passage
To be honest, I have not always liked this passage. I have wondered why Jesus makes such a big deal out of the man’s use of the word “good.” I have struggled to see Jesus as kind when He calls this man to leave everything behind and then allows him to walk away sad. I have wrestled with His statement about how difficult it is to enter the kingdom of God. I suspect my trouble with this passage has more to do with a nagging fear that I am more like this man than I care to admit.
Of all the Bible studies I have participated in, it is the study of this passage as a university student with some close friends that has left the deepest impression on me. It was that evening that I saw something I had missed many times before: “Jesus looked at him and loved him” (v. 21).
Everything Jesus says and does in this passage is motivated by His love for this man. His question about the word “good” is motivated by love. His shocking call for the man to sell his possessions and follow Him is motivated by love. Even allowing the man to walk away grieving is an expression of Jesus’ love for him.
Why do you call me good?
The man comes to Jesus enthusiastically, asking about eternal life. Mark tells us he is a man of great wealth; there is probably little he does not own or could not buy. He is also a deeply religious man who diligently keeps the laws of Moses. And yet, there is still something missing in his life that he cannot quite name. For this reason, he approaches Jesus, hoping to find the answer to the emptiness in his soul.
Everything Jesus says and does in this passage is motivated by His love for this man.
Jesus responds with a question of His own: “Why do you call me good?” The rest of the conversation depends on the man’s answer. Is Jesus simply one of many good teachers? Is His kingdom just one of many good options? Are His words only good suggestions? Or is this man standing before the good God Himself?
If Jesus and His kingdom are merely one option among many, then nothing else He says will make sense or carry lasting value. That is why Jesus lovingly presses to the heart of the matter: What do you believe about me? As with this man, the way you and I answer that question has the power to shape the whole course of our lives.
Go, sell… and follow me
Jesus names the unspoken problem: there is something the man lacks. He knows the heart of the matter and addresses it, but not in the way the young man expects. I imagine the man anticipates one more thing to do or one more rule to follow. Instead, Jesus points him to an entirely new way of life: “Go, sell everything you have… and come, follow me.”
Jesus desires to be with this man. He wants to know him, be known by him, lead him, and transform him. Christ’s call to him is the same call He gave to the disciples: to come and be with Him (Mark 3:14). The one thing the man lacks is Jesus. Eternal life—life marked by meaning, wholeness, and joy—is found in being with Christ and following Him. Because He loves him, Jesus invites the young man to come and be with Him.
It is easy for us to be overwhelmed, as the rich man was, by the first half of Jesus’ command to go and sell. But this is only a means to the end. Jesus’ call to sell his possessions is not a test or a cruel trick. It is the only way the man will be free to respond to the invitation to come and be with Jesus. In a very real sense, it would be impossible for him to follow Jesus while carrying all his possessions on his back. In this way, we see that Jesus’ command flows from His love for the man and His desire to be with him.
Now we can see why the first question matters so much. If Jesus is merely one among many good options, then it would be foolish for the man to sell all he has in order to follow Him. But if being with Jesus and following Him is the path to eternal life, then the only response that truly makes sense is to leave every hindrance behind and pursue Him.
The one thing the man lacks is Jesus.
He went away sad
We learn a great deal about this man from his response to Jesus’ call. Mark tells us that he went away sad because he had great wealth. His reaction reveals how he answered Jesus’ first question. Jesus may be good, but He is not worth leaving everything else behind for. The man still sees Jesus and His teachings as one good option among many. He does not realize that he is standing before the Lord of the universe, the One who alone has the authority, wisdom, and goodness to direct his life and care for him.
If we could visualize this man’s wheel, it might look something like the one I have drawn here.
At first glance, it does not look terrible. God has a place in his life. His relationships, work, and responsibilities all have their place as well. The problem is that God is only one part of his life—one spoke among many that shape his decisions and desires. So when Jesus calls, obedience is weighed against all the other competing influences. On that day, the man’s possessions and his present way of life mattered more to him than the invitation of Christ.
Jesus is not interested in being one spoke among many. He desires—and deserves—to be the hub of the wheel. He alone must be the center on which everything else depends. His call to follow Him is a call to give Him the rightful authority to direct every part of life. This is not because Jesus is harsh or controlling. It is because He alone is the way to eternal life. Only when He has the central place in our lives can everything else begin to find its proper place. Out of love for this man, Jesus invites him into a life where he can finally receive the love, guidance, and life he is truly seeking.
The tragedy is that the man seems content to remain as he is. He may be willing to make a few small adjustments, but not a radical surrender. Yet Jesus loves him too much to lower the call. He loves him too much to agree to be one lord among many competing lords. The problem is not that money and possessions are evil. The problem is that they make a terrible god. No possession, relationship, job, or even religion can lead him to true life. So Jesus, in love, allows the man to walk away rather than helping him settle for something less than life with God.
Student Example: Competing Lords
When I went to university, I had already been a Christian for some time. Yet Jesus was not always at the center of my wheel. Too often, my studies took that place. I believed that if I got good grades and worked hard during those years, I would be guaranteed a good job and a happy, secure life. I would never have said that studies were my god, but I often lived as though they were. I chose to miss opportunities to grow in my faith—conferences, Bible studies, quiet times—for the chance to study just a little more. Studies, like money and possessions, are a good thing, but they make a terrible lord. Studying engineering never made me a more loving person, nor did it give me peace or eternal life. Only Jesus can do that.
I remember meeting Michael at one of our student group gatherings. My first impression was that he was a little overzealous. At the beginning of each semester, he would ask the student group leaders about all the activities and opportunities for spiritual growth that were being offered. Then, before he even knew his schedule, he would commit himself to each one. He had become a Christian just before coming to university, and he told me that he did not want to miss a single opportunity to grow in his faith. He was not going to let anything get in the way of being with Jesus. Michael missed only one small group meeting that first year, and that was because he was out of town for a family event. No matter what else was happening, he arranged his schedule and studies around his commitment to be with Jesus and His people.
If being with Jesus and following Him is the path to eternal life, then the only response that truly makes sense is to leave every hindrance behind and pursue Him.
Then came the night our small group studied the passage about Jesus and the rich man. The leader asked us, “Imagine you were this man. What do you think Jesus would say to you? ‘You lack one thing. Go, ____, and come follow me.’” I knew immediately that Jesus would bring up my studies.
I took great comfort in the fact that Jesus looked at me and loved me. He wanted me to experience eternal life and true security in Him. I did not want to walk away sad and disappointed like the rich man, so I decided to make a change. Michael became an example to me. From then on, I sought to put Jesus first and to organize my other priorities, including my studies, around my commitment to Him. I still struggled with this at times, but through that process I learned that following Jesus leads to real life, joy, and peace.
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What stands out to you about the fact that Jesus looks at you and loves you? How does this shape the way you hear His call to follow Him?
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If you were to approach Jesus today, what do you think He might say to you: “You lack one thing. Go, _____, and come follow me.” What might need to change in your life in order to respond to Him?
Memory Verse: John 6:68-69
Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life. We have come to believe and to know that you are the Holy One of God.
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In what ways have you experienced that Jesus’ words bring life?
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What might change in the way you live if you truly believed that Jesus has the words of eternal life?
Another Look at our Wheels
Jesus is inviting us to come, be with Him, and follow Him. He loves us and wants us to experience eternal life—a life marked by wholeness, peace, and joy. But this is only possible when Jesus, and only Jesus, is Lord of our lives, because He alone knows the way to life.
We follow Jesus as Lord when His rule and influence shape every aspect of our lives. He is Lord when we listen to His word and obey it. We know that Jesus truly has the central place in our lives when His authority reaches into our possessions, friendships, studies, work, and every other part of who we are. We deceive ourselves when we claim to be His disciples but refuse to obey Him in these areas. Jesus said it this way: “Why do you call me ‘Lord, Lord,’ and do not do what I tell you?” (Luke 6:46).
The beauty of Jesus’ lordship is that He does not force it upon us, but allows us to choose Him and His life. And yet, if we have truly come to believe that His words alone bring life, then following Him as Lord is the only response that makes any real sense.
With this in mind, it is helpful to think through the most important areas of our lives and consider what it means in practice for Jesus to be Lord over them.
Time and Possessions
We often speak about time as if it were a possession. We say, “I don’t have time,” or “I’ll come if I have the time.” But none of us owns time. Each of us is given twenty-four hours a day as a gift from God.
How we use that gift reveals much about what we value. In many ways, time measures our priorities. We make time for what we believe matters. We schedule work because productivity and provision matter to us. We make time for family and friends because we value those relationships. A young man often finds time for his girlfriend because she is a priority; he rearranges his schedule, his work, even his sleep to be with her.
This is true across life. If we want to know what is important to us, we can often begin by looking at how we spend our time.
The reverse is also revealing. What we consistently have no time for often exposes what we do not prioritize. If we say we have no time to pray, gather with God’s people, or study Scripture, we may actually be saying something else has been given greater importance.
If Jesus is truly Lord, it makes sense that our use of time would reflect His lordship. We will plan for and make intentional space for prayer, Scripture, worship, and service because Jesus teaches us that these are part of the way that leads to life. Rather than fitting Jesus into the margins of life, our other commitments begin to be ordered around Him.
In a similar way, how we spend our money reveals what we trust and treasure. This is true whether we have much or little. It is no accident that Scripture speaks so often about money and possessions. Jesus regularly warns that wealth can become a rival lord—what He calls mammon.
Our use of time and money reveals what we truly trust and treasure.
This is why wealth can be spiritually dangerous. It easily persuades us that security, joy, and life can be found in what we possess rather than in God. Every day the world bombards us with the message that happiness lies in having more—another tool, another device, another comfort. But Christ alone gives life. This is why Jesus says it is hard for the rich to enter the kingdom of God: it is easy for us to trust money and possessions to provide security and life, rather than trusting God.
A mentor once told me that every purchase is, in some sense, a spiritual decision. There is truth in that. How we spend often reveals what we believe. If Christ is Lord, our spending will reflect this, and even our possessions will come under His rule. We will follow His instructions by embracing a life of generosity, giving toward God’s work, and caring for those in need around us.
And here is an important secret about time and money: we often imagine faithfulness in these areas will become easier later—after graduation, after marriage, after a stable job, after more income. But often the opposite is true. Life usually grows more complex, not less.
The habits you form now with time and possessions will profoundly shape how you live later. This is why Jesus says, “You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things” (Matt. 25:23). The habits we form now with time and possessions reveal whether Jesus is truly Lord over what God has placed in our hands.
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If someone were to look at your schedule and your relationship with money and possessions, what would they conclude is most important to you?
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If Jesus is truly Lord, how should His lordship be reflected in the way you use your time and handle your finances?
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In what practical ways might your use of time, money, and possessions more fully reflect Jesus’ lordship in your life?
Relationships
Relationships are a beautiful gift. God created us to live in relationship with Him and with one another. Like every other area of life, our relationships are best enjoyed when Jesus is Lord and we follow His commands. This is especially clear because Jesus said the greatest commandments are: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength” and “Love your neighbor as yourself” (Mark 12:30–31).
We cannot call ourselves disciples of Jesus while ignoring His command to love the people around us—those in our churches, our colleagues, our roommates, our family members, and the people we meet throughout the day. This includes those who are easy to love and those who easily annoy us. Love is not merely a feeling; it is expressed in action. It includes forgiving those who wrong us, asking forgiveness when we have wronged others, seeking their good, serving them, sharing generously, praying for them, and using our words to bless and encourage.
One area where this can be difficult is our relationship with our parents. Throughout the Bible, we are commanded to honor our parents. When Jesus is Lord, we will strive to honor them by speaking well of them, listening carefully, caring for them, forgiving them when they make mistakes, and serving them where we can. At the same time, Jesus also warns us not to make even our parents the lords of our lives. Honor and obedience are not always the same thing. There may be times when we must respectfully disobey our parents in order to obey and follow Jesus.
Love is not merely a feeling; it is expressed in action.
Jesus’ lordship also shapes our romantic relationships. Scripture presents marriage as a faithful covenant relationship between one man and one woman, marked by love, partnership, and service. This has many practical consequences, including not entering a romantic relationship with someone who is not also a follower of Jesus. God’s Word gives many warnings about this. The issue is not that God does not love our non-Christian friends; He certainly does. The danger is that you may fall in love with and marry someone who does not love Jesus. How sad it would be for the most important person in your life to be heading in a fundamentally different direction and to be, at best, only tolerant of your desire to follow Christ. I have known too many Christians who compromised in this area and later lived with deep regret and spiritual tension. They found themselves constantly torn between the person they loved and the Lord they had promised to follow.
Jesus’ teaching on marriage and family also shapes our sexual practices. Sex was created as a gift to be enjoyed within the covenant of marriage, where a man and a woman are joined together in faithful love (Genesis 2:24). Within these boundaries, sex is a wonderful gift. Outside of them, it leads to pain, confusion, and heartbreak. Obedience to Jesus’ lordship in our relationships means saving sex for marriage and remaining faithful to our spouse. Before marriage, this will mean creating wise boundaries in physical relationships and arranging our activities so that we are not intentionally placing ourselves in situations where we are likely to compromise.
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What kinds of relationships are most significant in your life right now? What does it mean for Jesus to be Lord in those relationships?
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In which relationships do you struggle most to obey Jesus’ command to love your neighbor as yourself? What makes this difficult?
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How would you describe your relationship with your parents? In what practical ways might this relationship more fully reflect Jesus’ lordship?
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If you are in a romantic relationship, how is Jesus’ lordship shaping that relationship? Are your relational and sexual boundaries helping you follow Jesus faithfully, or placing you in situations of temptation?
Work and Recreation
Work is a significant part of our lives. From the first pages of Scripture, we see that God created us to work alongside Him in the world and participate in His purposes. When we work and study, we are living out part of who God created us to be and what He created us to do. Whether you have a job or are a full-time student, it is important to think practically about how Jesus leads you in this area of life.
Although much could be said, at least three aspects of our work and study must be shaped by Jesus’ lordship.
First, if Jesus is our Lord, then our work is not. This may seem obvious, but in practice it is difficult for many of us. We are often tempted to live as though our studies or work give our lives security, meaning, and worth. We must remember that we are not primarily what we do. We are first and foremost children of God and disciples of Jesus. We must learn to seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, trusting that God will care for our needs (Matthew 6:33).
Earlier in this chapter, I shared how my studies became the lord of my life when I was a student. I was willing to sacrifice almost anything, including opportunities to grow as a disciple, in order to get good grades. I had to learn to create proper boundaries and expectations for my studies so that my first priority was truly knowing God and being transformed by Him.
Likewise, when it comes to work, Jesus’ lordship compels us to consider the spiritual and relational costs of the jobs we pursue, the promotions we accept, or the moves we make for work. For disciples of Jesus, there are things more important than a bigger paycheck.
We must learn to seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, trusting that God will care for our needs.
Second, we must work in a way that honors our Lord. This means being faithful employees and students who work hard and fulfill our responsibilities well. It means honoring our bosses and teachers, and being kind and loving toward our colleagues. As disciples of Jesus, we should not cheat, steal, or deal dishonestly with others. Paul gives this instruction: “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving” (Colossians 3:23–24).
Third, we need to make time for rest. Like work, rest and recreation are gifts God created for our good, so that we may celebrate life and enjoy His creation. Rest also reminds us that God provides for us and cares for our needs. In Scripture, God instructs His people to set aside regular time – one day each week – for rest. This reminds us both that we need rest and that work must not rule our lives.
At the same time, recreation must also come under Jesus’ lordship. Rest is a gift, but recreation can easily begin to consume us. Like every other area of life, recreation is best enjoyed when it is received under Christ’s rule and practiced under His leadership.
One example is our use of screens and entertainment. Many of us spend hours on our phones or computers scrolling, chatting, gaming, watching videos, or checking social media. These things can fill our time without us noticing. Many people have had the experience of sitting down “for a few minutes” and realizing later that hours have passed.
What is more, digital life can easily become addictive. Screens can also distance us from real relationships. They allow us to control when and how we interact with others, but they can also isolate us from the people around us. And there is another danger: many people do things alone online that they would never do if others were watching, especially if they remembered that Jesus, our Lord, sees and cares about all of life.
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What does it mean practically for you to seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness in your work or studies? Are there changes needed for Jesus’ lordship to be more fully reflected there?
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How do you spend your time in recreation? In what ways might Jesus’ lordship shape or reshape those practices?
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Are there particular temptations connected to your recreation or use of technology (addictions, pornography, distraction, escapism)? How might Christ’s lordship lead to different choices and habits?
Image and Health
There is one last issue to address in this chapter. We live in an age and culture where we are bombarded with images and repeatedly told that a good life depends on being attractive, fit, and admired. As a result, many of us spend an unhealthy amount of time, money, and energy thinking about how we look, how we dress, and how others perceive us.
In contrast, Scripture calls us to give greater attention to the beauty of Christlike character: love, joy, peace, kindness, and self-control. These are the qualities that will last long after our bodies grow old and tired. It would be a tragedy to spend our lives pursuing what will not last while neglecting what is eternally significant.
This does not mean it is wrong to care for our bodies, dress appropriately, exercise, or practice good hygiene. These can all be good and wise. But if we are honest, much of the time, money, and energy we spend worrying about our appearance has little to do with seeking to please and serve God.
Scripture tells us that Jesus, the most significant person in history and the only one who lived in perfect obedience to the Father, “had no form or majesty that we should look at Him, nothing in His appearance that we should desire Him” (Isaiah 53:2). If Jesus truly is your Lord, then your attention, time, and energy will be given to becoming like Him—especially in the ways you love God and love the people around you.
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What does your concern for image and appearance reveal about what you believe is important in life and about where you find your value?
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Are there ways your attention to image and health could more fully reflect Jesus’ lordship in your life?
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How will you practically make becoming truly beautiful—growing in love, kindness, gentleness, and the fruit of the Spirit—a priority in your life?
The goal of this chapter is to help you live with Jesus as Lord of your life. Only under His lordship can we fully enjoy life—including our time, money, work, recreation, relationships, image, and health—as God intended. Then, and only then, will you truly know the way of eternal life.
Following Jesus is a lifelong journey. Along the way, we need to regularly examine our beliefs, actions, and priorities. It is good to ask ourselves, and our discipleship partners, whether we are truly following Christ and allowing Him to direct every area of life. We do this because we are often skilled at deceiving ourselves; we can say that we are following Jesus while still holding back parts of our lives from His lordship.
The good news is that Jesus looks at us with love. When we stray, He graciously calls us back. When He shows us what we lack, it is not to shame us, but to invite us to leave behind whatever keeps us from following Him. And when we return to Him and surrender our whole lives to His care, He can and will transform us into the “palace He intends to come and live in Himself.”
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What other aspects of life did you include in your wheel? What would it mean for Jesus to be Lord in those areas?
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Summarize in your own words the message of this chapter. What is the connection between Jesus’ lordship and Christian discipleship? How will you personally respond?
Responding to the Word
The following practices are meant to help you live out what this chapter has explored. Select those that will both support and stretch you as you follow Jesus.
An Honest Look at Our Time and Money
Over the next fourteen days, track in detail how you spend your time and money. Write down the main activities you participate in each hour, as well as any purchases you make during the day. After the two weeks, look over your chart with your discipleship partner and discuss what you notice.
What does this reveal about your priorities? Are there things that surprise you? Are there things you would like to change so that your time and money more fully reflect your priorities and Jesus’ lordship?
Spiritual Disciplines
The spiritual disciplines of the church are given to help us become more aware of God’s presence so that we can listen to Him and follow His lead. We cannot transform ourselves or save ourselves. We need God’s grace and mercy. We need His leading. We need Him to show us the way to life and reveal the sinful ways within us that lead to death. The spiritual disciplines are one of the primary ways we learn to receive God’s grace and follow His leading day by day.
In “Appendix 4: Spiritual Disciplines,” you will find more information about this topic and detailed explanations of several common disciplines. As discipleship partners, choose one or two disciplines to focus on in the coming days and weeks—practices that will help you listen to Jesus’ voice and follow Him more intentionally as Lord of your life. When you meet again, share your experience and what God has been teaching you.
Praying for one another
As you have reflected on Jesus’ lordship in this chapter, what is one next step you want to take? Share this with your discipleship partner. Share also any other concerns or situations in your life that you would like prayer for in the days to come. After sharing, pray for one another. Ask God to be Lord over every area of your life and to give you the courage to leave everything in order to follow Him. Continue your plan to pray for each other regularly until your next meeting.
Heavenly Father, we thank You that You look at us and love us. We are grateful that You truly desire us to experience eternal life with You. Forgive us for believing and living as though anything else could give us what we are seeking. Help us once again to follow You as Lord over every area of our lives. We want to be people who listen to Your voice and trust Your ways. Complete Your work in us, so that we would become the people You always intended us to be, for Your glory. AMEN.