Practical Discipleship - Chapter 13
Life-long Discipleship: Counting the Cost
The grace of God compels us to follow Jesus with intentional, costly devotion.
This chapter is designed for slow reading and reflection. Consider reading it in sections, either on your own or with one or two discipleship partners, allowing time for prayer and honest discussion.
Introduction
This is what we mean by cheap grace, the grace which amounts to the justification of sin without the justification of the repentant sinner who departs from sin and from whom sin departs. Cheap grace is not the kind of forgiveness of sin which frees us from the toils of sin. Cheap grace is the grace we bestow on ourselves. Cheap grace is the preaching of forgiveness without requiring repentance, baptism without church discipline, communion without confession. Cheap grace is grace without discipleship, grace without the cross, grace without Jesus Christ…
Costly grace is the gospel which must be sought again and again, the gift which must be asked for, the door at which a man must knock. Such grace is costly because it calls us to follow, and it is grace because it calls us to follow Jesus Christ. It is costly because it costs a man His life, and it is grace because it gives a man the only true life. It is costly because it condemns sin and grace because it justifies the sinner. Above all it is costly because it cost God the life of His Son and it is grace because God did not reckon His Son too dear a price to pay for our life. – Dietrich Bonhoeffer
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What do you understand Bonhoeffer to mean by cheap grace and costly grace?
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Bonhoeffer begins the chapter in which this quote is found by saying “Cheap grace is the deadly enemy of our church. We are fighting today for costly grace.” Why is cheap grace a deadly enemy? What might it look like to fight for costly grace?
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Do you ever settle for cheap grace? How can you seek after costly grace again and again?
In this chapter, we explore what it means to respond to God’s grace with costly, lifelong discipleship—learning to follow Jesus by denying ourselves and intentionally ordering our lives around Him.
Life-long Discipleship: Counting the Cost
A Great Party
For many of us, the most important and joyous events in our lives take place around the table. Almost all of our holidays revolve around eating — the more food, the better. Similarly, all the big occasions in life — from getting married, to having a birthday, to getting a promotion at work, to graduating from school — are usually celebrated with food. So much so that if food were not part of these occasions, we could hardly say that we celebrated them well.
Even the Lord’s Supper, where we remember the saving work of Christ and His covenant with His people, is a celebration of God’s people eating together.
I reflect on this here because it seems noteworthy to me that at the beginning of this passage Jesus compares the kingdom of God to a man putting on a great banquet. This reveals something rather significant about God. He is a God who loves to celebrate and a God who loves to invite others into His joy.
The kingdom of God, in many ways, is like a huge party that the Lord of the universe is hosting — a party that He has been planning for all creation to enjoy with Him since the beginning of time. It is a place of joy and celebration; it is a place of life and relationship. All our own parties and banquets are only practices and rehearsals for the real thing that will happen when God inaugurates His wedding party at the end.
The kingdom of God, in many ways, is like a huge party that the Lord of the universe is hosting.
Just think what kind of celebration is made possible when it is hosted by the One who has all resources, all time, and all imagination at His disposal!
God is a God who loves to celebrate and who invites each of us into His celebration and joy. The kingdom of God is the greatest treasure and the place of greatest joy. This is what Jesus tells us over and over again in His teaching. On one occasion, He compared the kingdom of God to a great pearl that is of such great value that a person would sell all they had in order to be able to buy it (Matthew 13:45–46).
That is, the kingdom of God is so good and so precious that once we recognize its true value and see it for what it truly is, there is absolutely nothing we would not do to enter in.
I imagine some people who are reading this book need to replace their inferior images of God as a stern boss, a grumpy old man, or a killjoy with the true image that Jesus teaches about God. Similarly, we need to leave behind our distorted images of His kingdom as a place of sterile, solemn, and boring rules and rituals. The God of the Bible is one who celebrates and calls forth celebration, and His kingdom is the place where the truest and most joyful celebration takes place.
It is not until we believe that God’s kingdom is truly precious and joyous that any of what Christ has to say in this passage will make sense or be possible for us to live out. Likewise, when we do come to believe this, all other ways of living will suddenly seem shallow and absurd, and all excuses for not living this life will seem ridiculous and lame.
Lame Excuses
In my many years of working with students, I think I have heard just about every excuse for why people haven’t shown up to some event. I have heard everything from “it was cold outside” to “my rabbit was sick.” Recently, one student came up to me at church and told me that she wouldn’t be coming to our Bible study because she had some big exams coming up and needed to spend all her time studying. Interestingly, the following day she posted on her Facebook wall that she was at the mall enjoying a movie and coffee with friends.
Another time, one of our volunteer staff informed us that he would not be coming to a meeting—which he had previously committed to—because he needed to write an email. When we suggested that there was plenty of time to write it before or after the meeting, he explained that this wouldn’t work because he also needed to vacuum his apartment and take a shower. It was clear to me (and, I think, to him as well) that he simply did not want to come and was making excuses to get out of his commitment.
The truth is that we probably have all made some kind of lame excuse at some point in our lives in order to get out of doing something or going somewhere we didn’t want to.
Our activities and excuses show what we really believe about Jesus, as well as where our priorities truly lie.
Jesus’ story about the great banquet could also be called the story of the lame excuses. We are told that there was a great banquet being thrown and that many had said they would come. Though they had made an original commitment, when the time came for the party to take place, the servant met one excuse after another. One person said he had to see his property, another said he needed to work his new oxen, and a third wanted to spend time with his new wife.
While none of these were necessarily bad things, they clearly show what their expectations were of the banquet and what they truly thought about the one throwing the party. For if they were convinced that the party would be worth their time, they could have gone to see the property at another time, found another time to work with their oxen, or even invited their wife to come with them. Their lame excuses only highlight the fact that the party was not a priority for them and that the host did not mean that much to them.
The host recognized immediately that these were not honest excuses. So instead of trying to plead with them to reconsider or convince them how great the party would be, he simply sent his servants to find others who would come—those who would value his company and his hospitality.
The message of the parable is clear. The kingdom of God is here, and Jesus is inviting us all to follow Him. Everything else looks silly in comparison to the life of discipleship that He invites us into. All of our other affections—our material possessions, our careers and studies, and even our other relationships—can in no way compare to the great offer that Jesus makes to each of us
The great tragedy, however, is that though Jesus beckons us to come and be with Him, most people, being in love with this world, will not come. They will choose to follow their careers and their bank accounts rather than Jesus, and in doing so they will miss out on the greatest thing in human history: the chance to enter the joy of God.
Everything else looks silly in comparison to the life of discipleship that He invites us into!
It doesn’t matter what we have committed to or confessed in the past. What really matters is how we respond, each and every moment, to Jesus when He bids us to come, to follow, and to obey. Our activities and excuses show what we really believe about Jesus, as well as where our priorities truly lie.
God invites all and seeks all, but when He bids us come, He bids us give Him our whole lives. Jesus says that all who would be His disciples must give up everything. This is the only way that discipleship can happen. Discipleship is not something we do only when it is convenient or when we feel like it. It simply doesn’t work like that. It is not that Jesus is being mean or selfish; He simply knows the real requirements of discipleship. Either we believe that Jesus and His kingdom are worth everything to us and so we listen and obey, or we make all sorts of excuses for why we can’t follow Him. There is no other option. There is certainly not the option to follow Jesus only when it doesn’t cost us anything or doesn’t hinder our other dreams and plans.
This is the whole point of Christ’s teaching on discipleship to the large crowd on His way to Jerusalem. How sad would it be if we missed God’s great party because of a couple of oxen or a field.
Before we move on, I would like to make an important—and hopefully practical—comment about this parable. Every day Jesus is bidding us to come and be with Him. We have opportunities to listen to His voice in times of prayer and Bible reading, in fellowship, Bible studies, and church, in obedience and service, and in acts of mercy. Each day we have a chance to enter the banquet, but each day we must make a choice.
There will constantly be new things that vie for our attention, affection, and obedience. Our excuses for why we don’t make time for Jesus or why we don’t obey Him “this one time” reveal what we truly believe and where our true priorities lie. For if Jesus is truly our priority, we will find time for Him—even if it means staying up a little later or letting something else go undone.
As I write this, I am reminded of the story of Mary, who was commended for choosing the “better thing,” even though she did not do the culturally expected task of helping her sister prepare the home and meal (Luke 10:38–42). My hope is that we would choose the better thing of sitting at Jesus’ feet and being His disciples—for this is what leads to life and joy in the kingdom of God.
The Hardest Passage
Jesus was on His way to Jerusalem (Luke 9:51), where He would “suffer many things and be rejected by the elders, the chief priests and the teachers of the law” (Luke 9:22), when He turned and called the large crowd together to explain what it really means to be His disciple.
In short, discipleship is possible only for those who are willing to give everything up in order to follow and obey Jesus. Discipleship is complete devotion and dedication to Christ and His ways. Discipleship is being fully transformed into the purpose and likeness of Christ. It is radical and it is wholehearted.
There are not different degrees, plans, or levels of discipleship that we can choose from. Jesus simply calls us to be His disciples, and to be His disciple is to love, worship, and follow Him without letting anything else get in the way. We cannot call Jesus our teacher, nor can we truly follow Him into the kingdom, unless we are fully committed to His way. This commitment will affect all our other relationships—our possessions, our careers and studies, our plans, our goals, our dreams, and our very lives.
This is what He means when He tells the crowds that if they want to be His followers, they must hate their family and even their own lives. To a culture where the highest honor and obligation in one’s life was toward family, this would have sounded fanatical, absurd, and impossible. But that was precisely the point Jesus was seeking to make. He wanted to wake up—and even anger—the crowd so that they would seriously consider the true cost of discipleship.
In all areas of life, without exception, Jesus must be Lord. In comparison to our all-out devotion to Him, our relationship to everything else must look like hatred.
This is probably one of the hardest passages to write about because it is not at all popular or easy. No one wants to hear that they must leave everything behind to follow Jesus.
We are often tempted toward the cheap grace Bonhoeffer wrote about—a grace that costs us nothing and makes no demands upon us. Jesus, however, makes every demand of us. He graciously offers us life, and this life is truly known and experienced through life-long transformation into His likeness through discipleship.
This is why we noted earlier that until we truly understand the worth of the kingdom of God, Jesus’ call will sound impossible and foolish. It is also why Jesus tells us that we must first count the cost and consider whether we are willing to follow Him to the very end. It would be foolish to begin the journey of discipleship only to turn back later because we decided it was too hard or too costly.
Jesus cannot be our teacher or lead us into the kingdom unless we are fully committed to His way.
So Jesus graciously turns to the large crowd following Him toward Jerusalem and tells them plainly what it truly means to be His disciple. He urges them to consider the cost and decide whether they are willing to pay it. If they are not, there is no value in having the appearance of following Jesus without actually being His disciples.
It seems to me that many of us today have forgotten this and need to hear it again. Our churches are full of people who call themselves Christians, yet are not being transformed by Christ, nor do their lives look any different because of Him. For various reasons, they have not heard—or have not accepted—the call to be Christ’s disciple. Instead, they continue living as though Jesus can simply be added in when it is convenient or when they feel like it.
This will never lead to life in the kingdom. We must be shocked once again by Jesus’ words: only those who die to themselves will find life.
Discipleship is good, but if it is not true and costly discipleship, it is worth nothing and will be thrown out—“not even fit for the manure pile.” You and I, more than ever, need to have ears to hear this message.
Memory Verse: Mark 8:34-35
Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me and for the gospel will save it.
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What does it mean practically today to deny yourself and take up your cross? Why might Jesus ask this of his followers?
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Have you counted the true cost of discipleship? Why would you want to follow Jesus in this way?
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What might denying yourself and taking up your cross look like in your life right now?
Our Cross
I think we have a temptation, when approaching this passage, to try and make it nicer, more spiritual sounding, and less disturbing than it really is. We often talk about how our everyday problems or unwelcome experiences are the crosses that we must bear. However, for the people who first heard these words, Jesus was saying something far more radical than that.
The cross was an instrument of torture and death reserved for the worst criminals and the traitors of the Roman Empire. It was particularly ghastly not only because of the physical pain, but because of the shame it brought upon those who were crucified. They were marched through town, mocked, spit on, insulted, and rejected. They were abandoned to die slowly in a public and humiliating way, serving as a warning to others of what happens when someone goes against the norm.
Jesus does not call us to put to death parts of our lives, but to die to ourselves.
So when Jesus told His disciples that one must take up their cross to follow Him, they would have had this picture in mind: a picture of rejection, shame, and death.
Jesus’ invitation to discipleship is one of complete devotion, radical allegiance, and full surrender to Him and His way. He calls all who would follow Him to deny themselves, which means renouncing the supposed right to go one’s own way and rule one’s own life. Denying oneself is not merely giving up a few things we really want or letting go of future plans; it is allowing someone else to lead us..
When Jesus made this call to His disciples, He was on His way to Jerusalem, where He would be rejected by the world and killed as a traitor. To deny themselves and follow the way of Jesus would also lead the disciples to the world’s rejection and, ultimately, their death. It is for this reason that Jesus once again gives them the choice to follow Him—without assuming that all were willing to pay the price: “Whoever wants to be my disciples…”
The choice left to the disciples that day is now ours to make. In fact, it is a decision we must make every day of our lives. We are called daily to deny ourselves and to walk toward our death. Jesus does not call us merely to put to death certain habits or parts of our lives; He calls us to die to ourselves. This is discipleship, and it is worked out in thousands of everyday decisions—how we spend our time and money, how we speak to others at work, and how we forgive, serve, and honor others.
Following Jesus in this way will lead us to experience the rejection of the world, just as it did for the original disciples. We will be called names, slandered, and hated because we bear the name of Christ and have chosen His counter-cultural way of love.
However, the good news of Easter is that Christ was raised from the dead. Jesus’ way of life—His radical trust in the Father and His complete surrender to the Father’s way of love—did not lead to death in the end, but to life. This is the great reversal of all things. In the resurrection of Jesus, we see that neither the world’s ways nor its approval bring life. Rather, true life is found only when we abandon ourselves to the Giver of Life. When we die to ourselves, then—and only then—do we find abundant life.
Jim Elliot beautifully summarized this truth in his journal a few days before he was martyred by those he went to serve: “He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose.”
A Discipleship Plan
Discipleship doesn’t just happen. We don’t go to bed one day loving the world and all it has to offer and wake up the next day completely transformed into the image of Christ. Rather, like everything else in life that truly matters, discipleship requires wise planning and deep consideration.
Jesus’ analogies of the building project and the king at war point clearly to this truth. No wise person begins a building project without knowing the cost or having a plan to complete it. A builder imagines what the building should become, works with engineers to ensure it is sound, arranges financing, and hires workers to carry out the plan. They do not simply begin building and hope everything turns out well.
In the same way, a king does not go to war—especially against a powerful enemy—without careful planning. He considers when and where to fight, which forces to use, and whether to seek allies. He does not march into battle hoping everything will work out.
In fact, we plan for everything that matters to us. We plan weddings (saving dates, making reservations, inviting guests, tasting cakes). We plan for employment (writing résumés, researching opportunities, interviewing). We plan our studies and our vacations. The more important and complex the goal, the more intentional planning it requires.
For some reason, however, when it comes to discipleship, many of us stop planning. It may sound spiritual to avoid planning our spiritual growth, but this runs against wisdom. “The plans of the diligent lead to profit as surely as haste leads to poverty” (Proverbs 21:5). From this we can reasonably conclude that diligent spiritual planning leads to spiritual growth, while neglect leads to spiritual poverty. Much of our spiritual stagnation comes not from a lack of desire, but from a lack of thoughtful intention. We want to grow, to change, and to become like Jesus, but few take the time to consider what that growth will actually require.
A good plan includes three essential elements: a God-directed vision of what is to be accomplished, intention to pursue change, and specific means to move toward that vision. The builder’s vision is a functional and beautiful building; the king’s vision is victory and the securing of his kingdom. For disciples, the vision is to walk as Jesus walked and to be conformed to His image. This includes much of what we have explored throughout this book—living from our identity in Christ, practicing repentance, submitting to Jesus as Lord, remaining in Him, and more.
Yet vision alone is not enough. There must also be intention—a decision to act and to change. Too often Christians know what they should believe, but never decide to live differently. The builder commits to financing and constructing the building; the king commits to going to war. The disciple counts the cost and commits to Jesus and His way.
Finally, there must be means—concrete practices that help bring about change. The builder hires workers and gathers materials; the king assembles his army and advances. In the same way, disciples engage in practices that shape them into Christ’s likeness—making intentional plans for prayer and Scripture, committing to Christian community, and finding tangible ways to serve.
This three-step pattern—vision, intention, and means—has shaped the structure of this book. Each chapter has presented a vision of discipleship, invited reflection and honest self-examination, and suggested practical steps toward growth. My hope and prayer is that as you put these things into practice, you will see how your life is being formed by Jesus Himself. As we continue to follow Him with intention and wisdom, we will discover again and again the joy and life found in the kingdom of God.
Discipleship doesn’t just happen; it requires intention, wisdom, and a plan shaped by God’s purposes.
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Can you think of other areas of your life where you have had a vision, intention, and means in order to reach a goal?
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How might having a plan for spiritual growth be helpful in your discipleship? How can you ensure that God is leading and guiding you as you make these plans?
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Summarize in your own words the message of this chapter? What is the connection between repentance and Christian discipleship? How will you personally respond?
Responding to the Word
The following practices are meant to help you live out what this chapter has explored. Select those that will both support and stretch you as you follow Jesus.
Rhythm for Life
“Jesus’ followers are those who intentionally arrange their lives around the goal of spiritual transformation—the development of a well-ordered heart.”
A rhythm of life is a thoughtful plan for doing just this. It is a pattern of life we choose with the help of the Holy Spirit, so that the priorities and values we profess are actually lived out each day. Rather than drifting through our discipleship, a rhythm of life helps us respond intentionally to Jesus’ call to follow Him.
As we prayerfully craft a rhythm of life, we consider which regular (daily, weekly, and monthly) practices we will commit to in order to become people who walk like Jesus—loving God with all our hearts and our neighbors as ourselves. Some examples of elements of a rhythm of life might include:
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In order to remain in Jesus, every morning I will spend 30 minutes reading Scripture and praying for the day.
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I want to live in repentance. For this reason, each evening before going to bed I will use the Prayer of Examen to reflect prayerfully on the day.
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Celebration and worship are priorities in my life. Once a week, I will practice Sabbath by ceasing from work and making space for rest, prayer, and time with family and friends.
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In order to grow as a witness of Christ, I will pray daily for two people who do not know Jesus and look for opportunities to share my testimony.
There are a few things that will help ensure this rhythm of life becomes a gift rather than a burden. First and foremost, the commitments you make should not be so difficult or numerous that you never actually live them out. Choose practices you genuinely intend to do. They will likely stretch you, but they should not feel overwhelming. For example, if you do not currently have a regular time of prayer or Scripture reading, do not begin by committing to two hours a day. Instead, start with something realistic—perhaps 15 to 20 minutes each day.
Second, prayerfully review your rhythm of life once or twice a month. This allows space to celebrate growth and to notice where further growth is needed. When you fall short, practice grace toward yourself, remembering that God is gracious and forgiving, slow to anger, and abounding in love. At the same time, God’s kindness is meant to lead us to repentance—inviting us to make changes where needed and to form new habits of faithfulness. This regular review also allows you to adjust your rhythm of life over time, adding or removing practices as appropriate.
Finally, it is helpful to share your rhythm of life with a mentor or discipleship partner. This provides encouragement, accountability, and wise perspective. They can help you discern whether your rhythm is too demanding or not stretching enough.
In the end, a rhythm of life is simply a tool—a means of grace meant to help you follow Jesus faithfully. Adapt it freely so that it serves its purpose: encouraging growth, sustaining faithfulness, and keeping your attention fixed on Christ, so that you continue to be formed into His likeness.
A downloadable handout is provided below to help you reflect on the major themes of this book and consider your vision, intention, and means for growth in each area. Use it as a prayerful tool, focusing on the areas where you sense God inviting you to grow at this time. You may find it helpful to revisit those chapters as you reflect on how the Spirit is shaping your discipleship.
Praying for one another
Take time to share with one another how you are being challenged and encouraged to live in response to this chapter on discipleship. Share this with your prayer partner, along with any other concerns or situations in your life that you would like prayer for in the days to come. After sharing with one another, pray for each other. Ask that God would help you become disciples who deny themselves, take up their crosses, and follow Jesus. Then make a plan to pray for one another regularly until your next meeting.
Heavenly Father, we thank You that You are a God who invites us into Your kingdom and into Your joy. We know that we do not deserve this, and that it is only by Your grace that we experience true life. Help us to become people who are willing to give up everything to follow You, because You are worth it and the life You invite us into is worth it. Forgive us for the times we have resisted Your call or made excuses for not obeying You. Once again, we entrust our lives to You and to Your purposes. We pray this in the name of Jesus and for Your glory. AMEN.